Breastfeeding = Nature's Way?

So I think I mentioned in my last post that I might talk about Breastfeeding....Nature's Way? If it is supposed to be so natural why is it so difficult for some people....especially me?!?!?! We had a very rough first night home-I'm not sure that anyone got any sleep. We were getting pretty desperate--Owen was VERY upset and we could tell that he was hungry. Even after nursing his little mouth was dry--it was very sad! We had an appt with the lactation consultant at the hospital at 11:30 but we were calling her at 8AM! When we were getting no response from her (she didn't come in until 10:00), we called Dr. B's office to see if the lactation consultant there was in. She was and Aunt Jill told us to come right over! We stopped to pick up some formula just in case he was going to need a bottle to help him over his hump. The lactation consultant was very supportive and helpful, telling me that I did have some milk and helping us to get him fed a little. I felt a little better after meeting with her and we were all able to come home and take a nap afterwards so that was nice too:)

Well, needless to say the lactation consultant from the hospital kept calling because we ended up needing to cancel our appt with her so we could get some rest--I was feeling pretty rough after everything. We finally decided to go and see her later in the afternoon. Well, they weighed him and he had lost more than 10% of his birthweight, so that was not a good thing. While we were there I didn't have any milk that was transferring to my little guy while trying to feed him. She told us that we really needed to supplement him with some formula to try and get his weight back up. I told Tony after we left that I knew it wasn't good when the lactation consultant walked in with formula! So for feedings after that, Tony sat at my side with a little syringe and shot formula in while he nursed. When we met with her on Friday he had gained back 5 ounces, which was really good so she told us we could cut back a little on the supplementing. Well, when I met with her on Monday he had only maintained his weight, which she didn't seem too worried about, but I thought he should have done a little better over the weekend. She thinks my milk supply is still not 100%. I meet with her again tomorrow so we will see how his weight is doing.

So, where to from here? For me it is EXTREMELY frustrating that this is yet another thing that is seeming to not go right! I've feel bad that I cannot provide for him like I am supposed to be able to. Since Tony went back to work on Monday, I've been doing the syringe supplementing myself. I love the time that we are able to spend together while he is nursing, but if he is not getting what he needs then what is the point in continuing? I've tried to just nurse and not supplement, but it is abundantly clear that he is not as satisfied as when I supplement. I know some breastmilk is better than none, but oh how things would be easier to just whip up a bottle and feed him that way. So I feel that we are at a crossroads......everyone says that the first 2 weeks of breastfeeding are the most difficult.....I figure we will continue to try for a while but I'm not sure how much longer it will be going. Oh--and Tony has been wonderful throughout this whole ordeal--up with every feeding to supplement until I told him to just stay in bed:) and telling me that no matter what happens with this feeding thing.....everyone will end up just fine:) Thanks again honey--not sure I would still be sane throughout this past week or so without you!