Final Cycle: Thoughts

Hope can be a good thing or a bad thing when it comes to IVF.  I've been through it enough times that I can see it from both perspectives.  It's good because one should never give up hope....we should always hope for what we want most in the world.  Hope is bad because if it doesn't work out....then you are putting yourself out there for disappointment.....I'm a little worried because I actually have a little hope that this cycle could have worked....we actually had 2 grade 2 embryos to put back in this time, which is better than our last cycle.  I'm worried that if it doesn't work out, I will have a harder time getting over it....one because I had hope that it may have worked and two because it is our last time no matter what.  I guess I just assumed that since we figured out the right combo once that it would automatically work again and Owen would get to be a big brother....but I was wrong with that assumption.  Now here I sit on the eve of my second beta (took my first one on Friday last week) with a little bit of hope and a lot of worry about the outcome.  I'll say it again though....I will be perfectly ok with just Owen...he is everything I/we ever could have hoped for originally.  I won't deny that it would be nice to have another baby and get to experience it all over again, but I will be ok if I don't.